Silent boat cruise review
My verdict: this is the only city cruise on this water with a live guide — a person, standing there, in English only. That single fact matters more than the score, and the score is the highest here: 4.7 from about 2,079 reviews. It leaves from Rådhusbrygge 2, runs two hours on a hybrid-electric boat with three open decks and two heated saloons, and the reviewers praise the guide rather than the furniture, which is the opposite of every other file on this site.
The only one with a person on it
Four of the six boats here run recorded audio. The scenic cruise does seven languages through an app, the two wooden ships do thirteen, the electric boat is multilingual. On this one a guide talks to you for two hours and can be asked a question.
That cuts both ways and the listing is honest about which way. There is one language, and it is English. If your German or Spanish is better than your English, the live guide is a downgrade rather than an upgrade, and one of the app boats is the better booking. If your English is fine, this is the only listing in Oslo where the thing you are buying is somebody’s knowledge rather than somebody’s vessel. What English-language commentary means on each boat.
4.7, and why it is the most fragile number here
Highest score on the site. Also the score most capable of moving, and for a reason that has nothing to do with sample size.
A recorded commentary is the same on every sailing for years. A live guide is a person with a voice, a temper, a cold in March and a group that will not stop talking at the back. When it works, it produces the file below. When it does not, it produces the four-star review that nobody writes about a loudspeaker. About 2,079 reviews is a serious sample, and it is still measuring something inherently variable.
Compare it honestly with the 4.5 from about 6,690 on the Langkaia boat. Two tenths of a point separate them, and the bigger file is measuring a fixed product while the smaller one is measuring people. Neither number is wrong. They are not the same kind of number, and the listings will never tell you that.
What the reviewers keep saying
Two threads run through this file and both of them are rare on this water: the crew, and the silence.
- Angela, United Kingdom — a knowledgeable guide
- Luc, France — the guide made them appreciate the fjord's natural beauty, with humour
- Dalila, Switzerland — a wonderful trip, and the crew made it better
- Maren, Germany — a very quiet electric ship, so you could enjoy the ride fully
- Sofia, Greece — pleasant and calm, and the ship really was silent
Luc and Angela are describing a person. Maren and Sofia are describing an absence of engine noise. Those two things reinforce each other on a boat like this: a guide talking over a diesel has to raise their voice for two hours, and nobody enjoys the second hour of that. A hybrid-electric hull is the reason the commentary works.
Three open decks and two heated saloons
This is the configuration that decides whether a two-hour trip is pleasant in October. You can stand outside for the stretch past Akershus and the Opera House, then go inside and get warm while the boat works its way around the near islands. On an open boat you take the weather for the whole two hours. Inside a glass saloon you never quite feel the water.
The trade-off is noise discipline: on three open decks, a live guide has to be audible in more than one place, so expect to move towards them rather than assume the commentary comes to you.
The reason somebody gives this four stars
Language, mostly. An English-only live guide in a city where a large part of the visiting traffic is German, French, Spanish and Italian will disappoint some of the people who book it, and it will disappoint them fairly, because they did not get commentary they could follow.
After that, it is the guide. A person is a variable. Two hours with one who is having a flat afternoon is a different trip from two hours with Luc’s guide, and no rating system separates the two. This is the honest cost of buying a human being instead of a recording.
And it does not land anywhere. Two hours, out and back, same quay. If getting off is the point, that is the six-hour island trip — which is not wheelchair accessible, involves walking and climbing, and requires under-15s to be accompanied.
What works
- The only city cruise here with a live guide, and the file shows it
- 4.7 from about 2,079 reviews — the highest score on this site
- Hybrid-electric, so the quiet the reviewers describe is real
- Three open decks and two heated saloons, which is the best of both in October
- Two hours, long enough to get out among the near islands
- Wheelchair accessible
- Rådhusbrygge 2, in front of the City Hall with the other main quays
Worth knowing
- English only. No app, no second language, no subtitles
- A live guide is a person, so the experience varies in a way a recording cannot
- The highest score here sits on a third of the reviews the biggest boats have
- On three decks you may need to move to hear the commentary
- No landings — you stay on board for the full two hours
- Covers much the same water as four other boats from three other quays
What the listing commits to
- Two hours on a hybrid-electric boat
- A live guide, in English, for the whole trip
- Three open decks and two heated saloons
- Step-free access on board
- A return to Rådhusbrygge 2
What it does not
- Commentary in any language other than English
- An audio app as a fallback
- Any landing on an island
- A guarantee about which guide you get
If the guide is the reason you booked, stand near them for the first ten minutes rather than taking the best window seat. The opening stretch past Akershus and the Opera House is where the framing happens, and it is the part that makes the rest of the two hours make sense.
Who should book it, and who should not
Book it if you want to be told things by somebody who can be interrupted. Book it if quiet matters to you, because a hybrid-electric hull and a human voice are a better combination than either alone. Book it if you want the option of being outside and the option of being warm, in the same two hours.
Do not book it if English is not the language you want to listen in. Do not book it if you would rather have the biggest, steadiest review file on the water, which is the Langkaia boat, at 4.5 from about 6,690. Do not book it if you need a lift on board, which only the electric cruise off Rådhusbrygge 4 has. And do not book it expecting to set foot on an island.
The alternatives
The scenic cruise below leaves from Langkaia, not the City Hall. The island trip is not wheelchair accessible and involves walking and climbing.
Leaves from LangkaiaOslo: Scenic Fjord Cruise with Audio Guide Commentary
Step-free, with a liftOslo: 2-Hour Electric Oslofjord Sightseeing with Audio Guide
Lands on five islandsOslo: The Five Pearls of the Oslofjord Boat Tour
Frequently asked questions
Is the silent boat cruise guided in any language other than English?
No. It is the only city cruise here with a live guide and that guide works in English only. There is no multilingual app behind it. If you need another language, the audio-guide boats do seven or thirteen. The language lists.
Why is the silent boat called silent?
It is hybrid-electric, so there is no diesel thumping under the deck. Reviewers describe it as genuinely quiet, and the quiet is also why a live guide can talk for two hours without shouting. The electric and hybrid boats.
Is 4.7 the best rating of the six Oslofjord cruises?
It is the highest number, from about 2,079 reviews. The Langkaia cruise reads 4.5 from about 6,690, which is three times the evidence for two tenths less. A live guide also varies in a way a recording cannot. Why that spread is not a ranking.
Can you go outside on the silent boat?
Yes. There are three open decks as well as two heated saloons, so you can take the weather past Akershus and then get warm again. What to wear on the water.